


A Roommate and a Fan 2.0

by peetzahjoe



Series: Midnight Swallows AUs [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Talk of sex, as usual, kbye, thats about all i can think of, uuuuh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:31:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6840880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peetzahjoe/pseuds/peetzahjoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically how Riker and Jeff meet Macen and Kamryn (also Lane) in college in the world where Riker is a female rather than a male. YEAH.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Roommate and a Fan 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> There will be numbers through out that go to corresponding numbers in the end note, as usual.  
> Also, please, if you find any typos, no matter how minor, PLEASE TELL ME. I am my own editor and have a tendency to skim over when I am reading through. It's an issue. Please don't leave it all to Jennie. I can't even tell you how many minor errors she found for me in the first installment of girl!Riker. Like ohmygod.
> 
> Also, I obviously had to compensate for the fact that Riker wouldn't be the one rooming with Macen in this universe. I considered having Kamryn be Riker's roommate, but I ended up not going with that because I wanted to maintain Kam's creeper status.
> 
> And with that, ENJOY! Feel free to send me any questions you may have :)

“Jeffry, where’s your pillow?” Riker asked from the bed. Jeff looked up from where he was putting clothes into drawers and looked around. He huffed out a breath and then reached over to get the pillow once he found it. He tossed it at Riker then and she smiled widely as she caught the pillow and put it on the bed before she collapsed into it. Joey chuckled next to her and pat her exposed stomach.

“Hands off,” Jeff said absentmindedly as he continued to put clothes away.

“Oh, shut up, Jeffry,” Joey retorted as he rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to pat your girlfriend’s stomach unless she tells me otherwise.”

“He’s just being possessive because some frat douche was ogling me earlier,” Riker yawned as she stretched her arms over her head.

“I have a feeling he needs to get used to that,” Joey commented. Riker hummed in agreement while Jeff made a stubborn noise. Riker smiled over at Jeff and then blew him a kiss. Jeff smiled and rolled his eyes before he turned back to his clothes.

“So, how did meeting your roommate go, Joey?” Jeff asked. Joey immediately groaned and ran a hand over his face.

“He literally walked in as Selena was trying to pull my pants down1,” Joey complained. Riker burst into a fit of giggles and slapped Joey’s knee.

“No way!” she exclaimed with a wide grin. Joey rolled his eyes and nodded once. “You have the worst, luck, Jo.”

“I know,” Joey breathed. “How did meeting your roommate go?”

“We walked in on her and her boyfriend napping. They’re nice. Carson’s also doing dance,” Riker commented. “Lane’s doing theater stuff, so at least we’ll have something to talk about.”

“Mmh, that’s good,” Joey commented as he lay down next to Riker and draped an arm over her waist. Riker hummed in agreement and pat Joey’s arm. “You know when your roommate is getting here, Jeff?”

“Sometime today, I would guess,” Jeff replied as he closed one of the drawers and opened the next one. “I tried to contact him when the school sent out the info, but he never responded.”

“What a bum fuck,” Riker snorted. Joey smiled and shook his head before he pinched Riker’s side.

“You’re a bum fuck,” Joey mumbled into her shoulder.

“I mean…” Riker started.

“Ack! _Come on_ , _Riker_!” Joey exclaimed. Jeff snorted out a laugh from his spot on the floor. “I don’t wanna know if you’re into pegging or anything anally.”

“Aw, we’ve hit a nerve for Joseph,” Jeff crooned as he leaned back on his palms to blink innocently at Joey, who made a face at Jeff in response. Jeff smiled innocently and then turned back to putting his clothes away.

“Don’t know what you’re missing, Joey. The butt is where the prostate is,” Riker hummed innocently. “I may not have one, but _oh boy_ do I understand what it does.”

“That’s also because I know where your g-spot is,” Jeff shot out. Riker hummed in agreement and shrugged one shoulder.

“You guys are gross,” Joey yawned.

“Says the man who doesn’t want to learn about anal play when he has a prostate,” Jeff said as he quirked an eyebrow at Joey.

“I don’t care about the fact that I have a prostate!” Joey exclaimed just as the door opened. A guy poked his head into the room with wide eyes and Jeff snorted.

“Well, now I’m not sure whose introduction was worse,” Jeff said to Joey before he looked over at the guy. “Hi! I’m Jeff, your roommate.”

“So, not the guy screaming about prostates?” the guy asked cautiously.

“Don’t fool yourself, Jeff is why Joey was screaming about prostates,” Riker breathed out as she buried her fingers in Joey’s hair. “I’m Riker, by the way. And the prostate guy is Joey.”

“Macen,” the guy replied with a skeptical look as he kicked a bag into the room.

“We’re not scary, I swear. We just lived together for four years in high school,” Jeff assured Macen as he continued to put clothes away.

“That and spent five years together on set,” Joey added. Jeff and Riker both hummed in agreement.

“Hey, babe, can you pass me the pair of shorts that are on the bed?” Jeff asked without looking up. Riker groaned loudly before she shoved Joey off of herself to sit up. Joey made a stubborn noise as well and moved to wrap his arms around Riker’s waist.

“I was comfortable, asshole,” Riker complained as she held the shorts out to Jeff, who smiled and rolled up onto his knees to kiss Riker lightly.

“Love you,” Jeff whispered. Riker smiled and bumped their noses together.

“Love you too,” she replied before she moved back to lay with Joey, who released a happy noise. Macen watched the interaction with a confused expression as he gestured between them. Riker immediately snorted and rolled slightly to look at Macen directly. “The one on the floor is my boyfriend. The other one is just our best friend who is a cuddle leech.”

“And you guys are the ones who turned me into a cuddle leech,” Joey accused as he looked up at Riker with narrowed eyes.

“Blame Riker’s parents,” Jeff said offhandedly before he looked over at Macen. “Just a warning, our group of friends is weird and there are a few others who attend here.”

“The main one to look out for is Selena, if we’re being honest,” Riker said. “And Joey is the crazy one dating her.”

“Says the other person in the room who has been intimate with her,” Joey grumbled.

“Oh, shut up. She did all the work. I was too far gone and hands down not actually into her specifically,” Riker replied easily. “And don’t even bring it up if you want to remain unharmed, Joseph.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Joey sighed while Jeff snorted.

“Better get used to Riker being around, Macen. It’s rare that we spend the night apart,” Jeff informed as he looked over at Macen, who had begun to put things away.

“Rare? As far as I know you haven’t spent a night apart since you were twelve,” Joey snorted. Riker and Jeff both shrugged in agreement while Macen eyed them warily.

“I have sleeping problems related to other emotional issues,” Riker told Macen with a wave of her hand. “It’s not anything to worry about. And don’t listen to Jeffry’s scoff, _it isn’t_.”

“Bull,” Jeff retorted. Joey smiled and shook his head as he shifted around to get more comfortable.

“The two of them have a weird dynamic. Accept it and your life will be much easier,” Joey informed Macen.

“I’m beginning to understand that,” Macen said with a small nod.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it in no time,” Riker assured with a wide smile.

“Wow! Looky! All my favorites in one place!” Selena exclaimed as she burst into the room.

“Selena, I swear to god, if you dent the wall and I lose my deposit, I will _end_ you,” Jeff hissed at her. Selena smiled and rolled her eyes as she skipped over to kiss Joey lightly and then smack a kiss to Riker’s cheek.

“Hi! I’m Selena! You must be Jeff’s roommate,” Selena chirped as she turned to Macen with a wide smile.

“Yeah. I’m Macen,” Macen replied with a tentative smile.

“Selener, stop intimidating my roommate,” Jeff chided as he reached out to slap Selena’s leg before he pushed himself off of the floor.

“Don’t call me Selener, asshole,” Selena retorted as she pinched Jeff’s nipple.

“Hey! We’ve had this discussion. Nipples are _mine_ ,” Riker chastised as she quirked an eyebrow in Selena’s direction. Selena rolled her eyes and made a face at Riker.

“Come on, let’s go bug Oliver and Elliot,” Selena breathed out.

“Ah yes, the actual bum fucks,” Riker bugled as she shoved up from the bed and immediately latched onto Jeff’s back. Jeff chuckled and pinched Riker’s calf.

“See you later, Macen. Enjoy the peace and quiet before we get back. I’ll somehow let you know if I’m staying in Rike’s room,” Jeff said as they all walked towards the door. Macen simply smiled and waved. Riker giggled and waved back before she dragged the door closed behind them.

000000

“Riker, I swear…” Jeff started as he pointed at Riker. Riker just giggled and skipped over to Jeff’s bed to press a light kiss to Jeff’s mouth.

“Are we getting possessive in our own dorm room?” Riker crooned as she placed her palms on the mattress to lean forward slightly. Jeff rolled his eyes and reached out to cup one of her elbows lightly.

“No, but I’m quite sure Macen doesn’t want to walk in to find you half naked,” Jeff hummed as he leaned forward to press a kiss to Riker’s nose. Riker made a small noise and then squeaked when Jeff dragged her onto the bed. Jeff covered Riker with his own body and Riker giggled as she wrapped her limbs around Jeff.

“Don’t even _try_ and start something we can’t finish,” Riker chastised as Jeff bit at her neck playfully. Jeff made a stubborn noise and went limp. Riker snorted and buried her fingers in Jeff’s hair.

“Sock on the door?” Jeff asked tentatively.

“No. You know how he hates his math class and comes back here to crash,” Riker commented. Jeff made a noise in agreement and nuzzled into Riker’s shoulder. “Plus, Lane already told me that she’s staying in Caron’s room this weekend, so we’ll have my room.”

“Oh, goodie,” Jeff chirped as he lifted his head to prop his chin on Riker’s collarbone. Riker smiled and pushed Jeff’s bangs out of his face. “Can we stay in bed all day naked?”

“Mmh, what about meals?” Riker asked lazily. A contemplative expression crossed Jeff’s face and he huffed out a breath.

“We could stock up on foods we can make in your dorm microwave,” Jeff replied with a proud smile. Riker snorted and rolled her eyes as she stretched beneath Jeff.

“That doesn’t seem healthy,” she told him. Jeff shrugged and rubbed his thumb across her hip.

“We’ll burn off all the nastiness of the food with sex,” Jeff concluded with finality.

“Ugh, c’mon now, Jeffry,” Macen complained as he walked into the room. Jeff rolled his eyes while Riker smiled and waved a hand in Macen’s direction.

“Don’t worry, we’re talking about the weekend when you won’t have to worry about us being all up in your space,” Riker assured. Macen quirked an eyebrow as he looked at them.

“Says the one squished beneath her boyfriend wearing nothing but underwear and a sports bra,” Macen teased. Riker smiled widely and winked at Macen, who flipped her off and then collapsed onto his bed. “Is there a reason you’re half naked?”

“Because I was just out playing soccer with Joey and I was extremely hot,” Riker yawned as she stretched her arms over her head.

“Yeah, you were,” Jeff chuckled as he buried his face in Riker’s neck and nipped at it. Riker burst into a fit of giggles and shoved at Jeff playfully. Macen simply rolled his eyes and then grabbed the remote to turn on the TV.

“Kindly do not have sex while I am in the room,” Macen said flatly.

“I’ll make sure Jeff doesn’t get too wily, I promise,” Riker told Macen. “I have more self control than he does.”

“I know you do,” Macen hummed as he stretched out on his bed. Jeff made a stubborn noise and then pouted at Riker, who smiled and pat Jeff’s cheek.

“I have perfect control,” Jeff huffed out petulantly.

“My ass you do,” Macen snorted as he looked over at Jeff with raised eyebrows.

“Most definitely, because you have a nice ass,” Riker immediately shot out.

“Hey!” Jeff immediately squawked as he shot up to glare down at Riker, who smiled widely and squished Jeff’s cheeks together.

“Stand down, Jeffry. You know she checks out people’s butts,” Macen said in a bored voice. “It’s, like, her main hobby aside from messing around with you and acting like a weirdo.”

“Shut up, asshole,” Riker laughed as she grabbed a pillow to throw at Macen, who chuckled and caught the pillow easily. “I don’t know why I like you. You’re such a dick.”

“Only to you, doll,” Macen told her with an exaggerated wink. Riker smiled and rolled her eyes before she wormed her way out from beneath Jeff. Jeff made a noise in complaint and reached out feebly. Riker pat Jeff’s outstretched hand and then walked over to the dresser to grab a hoodie.

“Well, what a lovely thing to walk into,” Lane laughed as she sauntered into the room. Riker smiled over her shoulder and wiggled her hips before she straightened up and pulled the hoodie on.

“God damn it, Riker. This is the last time I want to see your butt!” Craig complained loudly.

“Craig, honestly. _Voice down_. I don’t need all the horny dudes in the hall to come running down here to try and get a peak at Riker’s ass,” Jeff growled as he grabbed onto Riker’s hips and pulled her back onto his bed. Lane smiled as she climbed onto the bed with Riker and Jeff and reached out to pat Jeff’s leg.

“Well, I’m tired of seeing her butt,” Craig grumbled as he dropped onto Macen’s bed. Macen snorted and ruffled Craig’s hair.

“You’re the one who befriended us despite being the RA. Get used to seeing Riker’s ass,” Macen told Craig, who rolled his eyes.

“He’s got a point, Craig,” Lane breathed as she stretched out across Riker’s legs. Riker smiled and wiggled her legs beneath Lane’s head. “So, how were classes for everyone today?”

“God, someone needs to just put me out of my misery when I am in math,” Macen complained.

“I could say the same when I’m in my piano and vocals classes,” Riker breathed. “I thought my ears were legitimately going to start bleeding today.”

“Why didn’t the school just place you in higher level classes?” Craig asked with a yawn.

“None of my training was formal, so I wasn’t able to place out of the basics. I was told I will be able to skip over the regular classes next semester though and move to higher classes,” Riker replied in a bored voice.

“Woe is the talented motherfucker,” Lane snorted as she quirked an eyebrow up at Riker. “But I agree with you in vocals. I don’t understand how some people delude themselves into thinking they can sing. It’s terrible.”

“Glad I don’t have to deal with that,” Macen commented.

“Dance is no better sometimes. Someone legitimately almost broke their ankle today,” Jeff snorted as he began to braid Riker’s hair.

“That’s because you chose to do the lowest dance class,” Riker hummed as she leaned into the touch. “If you went into the freshman advanced class, you wouldn’t encounter that.”

“Well _sor-ry_ I wasn’t given that option, you fart knocker,” Jeff replied with a scrunched nose. Riker smiled and reached up to flick Jeff’s nose.

“Fart knocker? That is officially the weirdest insult I have ever heard,” Craig snorted.

“Hang around Riker, Jeff, Joey, and Selena more and you’ll hear quite the variety of insults. The other day Selena called Riker an egg planter,” Macen informed in a bored voice.

“That’s something from one of the Starkid musicals2. Selena didn’t make that one up on her own,” Jeff said as he undid the braid in Riker’s hair. Riker hummed in agreement and nudged Lane’s back with her knee.

“Move, please. My legs are falling asleep,” Riker said. Lane made a small noise but then obeyed and rolled to the side to lie on her stomach next to Riker’s legs.

“So, what is the agenda as of right now?” Craig asked.

“Lame movies,” Macen declared. “Riker and Jeff have tons of them.”

“Yep. G’head and pick one out,” Jeff yawned as he and Riker shifted around to get more comfortable. Lane made a happy noise and curled up with them as well as Craig got up to pick out a movie.

“God, I’ve never even heard of some of these movies,” Craig breathed out.

“Don’t hate on our movie tastes, asshole,” Riker grumbled stubbornly. Craig rolled his eyes at her and then tossed a movie to Macen. Macen caught the movie easily and then got up to put the movie in.

“Oo, Cats Don’t Dance, good choice,” Jeff commented happily. Craig just snorted and climbed back onto Macen’s bed as they all settled in to watch the movie.

000000

“I don’t want to go to class,” Selena complained as she sprawled out on the ground next to Riker. Riker just snorted and tilted her head back a bit to soak in the sun. “Do I have to go?”

“I mean, you’re paying a lot of money…” Riker commented as she cracked one eye open to look down at Selena, who groaned loudly and draped her arms over her eyes. Riker smiled and reached out to poke Selena’s side lightly. “Isn’t it, like, your only class today?”

“No. I had one this morning as well,” Selena sighed as she moved her arms away from her face.

“Oh, how _terrible_. Two classes,” Riker drawled as she leaned back on her palms again.

“We can’t all be experts in our classes like you, missy,” Selena retorted as she pinched Riker’s thigh. Riker smiled and swat at Selena’s hand gently.

“My talents played into my majors,” Riker added with a shrug. Selena rolled her eyes before she covered them again with her arms. “When do you have to leave, anyway?”

“In, about, ten minutes,” Selena yawned in response. Riker made a noise in understanding and shifted in order to lay down with her head propped on Selena’s stomach. Selena hummed and immediately dropped a hand to Riker’s hair to thread her fingers through it. “I still can’t believe you chopped all your hair off over the weekend.”

“Eh. I just wanted a change,” Riker replied with a small shrug. “Sometimes you just gotta have short hair. It’s so much easier to wash and maintain.”

“I bet,” Selena snorted. “Your hair was getting super long.”

“Ugh, long enough that it started to get annoying during sex,” Riker said. “Jeff didn’t mind, but I did. I don’t like my hair getting caught in my armpits.”

“That is literally the _worst_ ,” Selena agreed with a small sigh. “It’s why I keep my hair just above boob level. Joey judged me pretty hard when I gave him that explanation once when he asked why I didn’t grow my hair longer.”

“Joseph has always been a fan of longer hair,” Riker commented as she stretched her legs out. “Jeff just misses that he can’t really braid my hair absentmindedly anymore.”

“Woe is Jeffry,” Selena said sarcastically. Riker just smiled and hummed in agreement.

“He certainly likes to think so,” Riker chirped before she moved off of Selena when she nudged Riker lightly.

“Well, Jeffry and his woes will see me later. I have to head to class. Have fun waiting for your pathetic significant other,” Selena said as she sat up and leaned over to smack a kiss to Riker’s cheek. Riker smiled and kissed Selena’s cheek as well before Selena got up and walked off.

Once Selena was out of sight, Riker propped herself up on her elbows and pulled her sheet music towards herself. She immediately began to hum and grabbed a pencil to make a few edits to the piece3. Someone dropped down onto the ground in front of Riker then and she looked up in surprise to see a girl with red hair looking at her in excitement.

“Hi! This sounds so creepy but I just heard you humming and you’re super talented!” the girl chirped. Riker smiled and huffed out a small laugh through her nose.

“Thanks,” Riker replied as she sat up and put her pencil down. The girl’s smile widened slightly.

“I’m Kamryn, by the way. To make this situation _slightly_ less creepy,” she told Riker.

“Hey, Kamryn. I’m…” Riker started, but she was cut off by a gasp and small squeak from Kamryn, who stared at Riker with wide eyes.

“ _Oh my god_! I know who you are!” Kamryn exclaimed. “I mean, I didn’t initially because _wow_ you cut your hair and, _oh my god_ , I am literally _so creepy_.”

“You’re fine,” Riker chuckled as she pushed a few stray hairs out of her face. “It’s not the first time I’ve been recognized on campus. At least you presented me with flattery first.”

“Well, everyone should be complimented on their talent at every available opportunity,” Kamryn replied primly as she settled down and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Can’t argue with that,” Riker agreed with a small shrug as she pulled her sheet music closer to organize it. Kamryn watched the movement with interest.

“What’s that for, if you don’t mind me asking?” Kamryn asked.

“My piano composition class,” Riker replied as she placed the sheets back into the folder. Kamryn stared with wide eyes and then shook her head slightly.

“Hey, can I ask you a slightly creepy, personal question?” Kamryn asked then, her head tilted to the side slightly. Riker inspected Kamryn’s face, and then shrugged.

“Sure, why not,” Riker replied as she propped her elbows on her knees. Kamryn smiled shyly and shifted slightly.

“Is it true that you and Jeff are gonna get married one day?” Kamryn asked.

“Kamryn, dear lord, what did I tell you about harassing my roommates?” Macen’s voice asked then. Kamryn’s eyes widened as she looked behind Riker at Macen.

“Aside from the weird-ness of the situation I just walked into: yes, we determined we will get married someday,” Jeff added as he dropped down next to Riker and placed a hand on the exposed part of her back. Riker hummed happily and tilted her head slightly in Jeff’s direction in invitation. Jeff snorted and leaned forward to kiss her cheek and then blow against it. Riker snorted out a laugh and turned to do the same to Jeff.

“She said I could ask, Macen,” Kamryn defended as she crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly.

“It’s not like it is the first time either of us has been asked that, anyway,” Riker added in a bored voice as she leaned into Jeff’s side. Jeff made a noise in agreement and nuzzled into Riker’s temple.

“I don’t care if you guys get asked that question every day, Kamryn is a freaking creep,” Macen heaved out as he dropped to the ground. Kamryn squeaked indignantly and slapped Macen’s shoulder. Macen just quirked an eyebrow at her and then rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Jeff, this is some crazy ass chick I met during move in. Her name is Kamryn. Kam, this is my roommate Jeffry.”

“How can you be so _blasé_ when you’re living with a famous actor?” Kamryn squeaked.

“I’m living with two of them, I don’t know what you mean by using singulars, there,” Macen teased easily. Kamryn made an annoyed noise and pinched Macen’s arm. Macen yelped and then swat at Kamryn while she smirked.

“Hey, sometimes we spend time in my and Lane’s room,” Riker huffed out stubbornly. Macen rolled his eyes and Jeff snorted as he wrapped an arm around Riker’s shoulders.

“Macen being a dick aside, how’s your piece coming along?” Jeff asked. Riker made a happy noise then and grabbed her folder to hand to Jeff.

“It’s getting there, but I feel like it is still missing something,” Riker added. Jeff made a small noise as he pulled the sheets out of the folder to look over. Jeff propped his chin on Riker’s shoulder as he inspected the sheet music and Riker tipped her head onto his.

“Are they always this adorable?” Kamryn asked Macen quietly as she watched Riker and Jeff, who were both still absorbed in the sheet music.

“Hm?” Macen asked as he looked up from his phone. He looked over at Riker and Jeff then and nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. Sometimes it’s worse. Sometimes it’s more sexual. Sometimes it’s more sexual and confusing because Joey’s draped over their laps.”

“I thought you’d stopped questioning our friendship with Joseph at this point,” Jeff said as he looked up while Riker ignored them in favor of making an excited noise as she grabbed her sheet music to edit something.

“I did. Doesn’t mean it still isn’t weird,” Macen replied with a shrug. Jeff shrugged as well and looked over Riker’s shoulder to see what she was editing.

“ _Oh_. Yes, that’s _perfect_. Sneak into the piano room tonight so you can play it for me?” Jeff asked. Riker smiled and turned to kiss the tip of Jeff’s nose.

“You know it, babe,” Riker cooed as she reached up with one hand to pat Jeff’s cheek. Jeff smiled widely and bumped Riker’s cheek with his nose.

“God, I thought you were lying,” Kamryn whispered.

“I would never lie about how disgustingly domestic those two are,” Macen snorted. “Don’t even get me started on how much they act like a married couple when they forget other people are there. Selena likes to interrupt though.”

“Selena is the actual devil, that’s why. I’m convinced her middle name is actually _Diablo_ and not Talia,” Riker sighed. Jeff nodded in agreement.

“She’s worse than Alyssa and Lily. Alyssa because we broke her with semen4 and Lily because she’s not around as much anymore,” Jeff added.

“With semen…?” Kamryn questioned cautiously even as Macen shook his head at her.

“You really don’t want to know. Just know that Riker’s entire family is _really weird_. I already know this and I’ve only known these two for a month,” Macen told her. Riker and Jeff exchanged a look and a shrug before they nodded in agreement with Macen.

“It really is easier to just accept that,” Riker breathed out as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Sometimes I’m not even sure what is happening.”

“Pretty much,” Jeff agreed as he gently grabbed Riker’s sheet music to put away. Riker quirked an eyebrow at Jeff, who simply smirked in return as he slid Riker’s folder into her bag.

“Ugh, put that face away,” Macen complained.

“Oh, he’s gonna put it away all right,” Riker giggled as she and Jeff stood up. Macen made a disgusted sound and flicked her off.

“I have a Skype call in an hour,” Macen informed with a stern expression.

“Gotcha. Everything will be fine and dandy by then,” Jeff assured as he and Riker started to walk off.

“Better be!” Macen called out.

“It will be! Promise!” Riker replied as she jumped onto Jeff’s back. Jeff chuckled and adjusted Riker on his back. Riker giggled and tightened her grip around Jeff slightly. “If you move faster, I can ride you in a different way.”

“ _You’re on_ ,” Jeff immediately hissed out as he sped up his pace. Riker barked out a gleeful laugh and buried her face in Jeff’s neck as he carried her off to his dorm.

000000

“Jeff, _c’mon_ ,” Riker panted from where she was perched over Jeff’s face. Jeff hummed beneath her and Riker squeaked as she reached out to slap her hands to the wall to steady herself. Jeff chuckled smugly against Riker and she whined out in pleasure. “Y-you’ve got, like, _f-five minutes_.”

Jeff responded with another hum and tightened his grip on Riker’s hips. Riker pressed her forehead to the wall and her legs tensed on either side of Jeff’s head. He made a happy noise and Riker keened as she tensed a bit more and then relaxed. Jeff hummed in excitement and licked broadly over Riker. Riker made a small noise and reached down to push at Jeff’s cheek lightly. Jeff chuckled and Riker smiled down at him as she moved off of him. Jeff made a small, sad noise as Riker’s dress fell back down and Riker looked over her shoulder at him. Jeff smiled innocently and Riker rolled her eyes before she sashayed into the bathroom to clean off her legs.

“You should get up and do something about your face,” Riker commented as she skipped back into the room and grabbed a headband to put on.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Jeff replied smoothly as he licked across his bottom lip. Riker quirked an eyebrow over at him and then eyed his glistening chin. Jeff smirked back and raised one eyebrow as well.

“I know you just _love_ to wallow, but this room is not just mine,” Riker hummed as she walked over to her discarded underwear to pull them back on.

“It’s not a regular day without seeing Riker’s ass,” Lane chuckled as she burst through the door. Riker turned and winked at her roommate before she waved enthusiastically at Kamryn, who was simply staring with wide eyes.

“Seriously, though,” Macen snorted as he walked into the room as well and dropped into Riker’s desk chair with a huff. Riker smiled and crinkled her nose before she looked over at Jeff, who now had a blanket pulled over his face.

“Oh my god, Jeffry, I swear I will have your ass on a platter. You best believe you’re the one washing that blanket,” Riker grumbled as she pointed over at him seriously. Jeff’s eyes sparkled with a smile then and Riker flipped him off.

“What? What’s going on?” Kamryn asked as she looked around with a confused expression.

“Jeffry, you’re fucking disgusting,” Lane informed as she dropped down onto her bed and looked over at Jeff with a sarcastic expression. Jeff snorted out a laugh then before he rolled his eyes.

“Seriously. Go wash,” Riker instructed as she pointed towards the bathroom. Jeff huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes before he jumped up from the bed and darted towards the bathroom. Lane simply rolled her eyes and ignored Jeff while Macen shook his head. Kamryn watched with wide eyes and then turned to Riker.

“His chin…” she started.

“Don’t finish that statement, Kamryn, I swear,” Macen hissed out as he ran a hand over his face. “I’ve witnessed it enough; I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“Jeff is literally so disgusting,” Lane breathed as she flopped back on her bed.

“Hey now,” Riker said stubbornly. Lane and Macen both just rolled their eyes. “Only _I_ get to call him disgusting about our sex habits.”

“Whatever, you sponge,” Macen snorted.

“That’s a new one,” Jeff laughed as he walked back out of the bathroom. “Joey and Curt typically go for _waterfall_.”

“Speaking of, you need to change your shirt. There was obviously some dribble,” Lane commented easily. Jeff made a face and tugged at his collar to look at it. He shrugged and then pulled the shirt off to throw it in Riker’s laundry basket before he collapsed onto Riker’s bed with her. Riker smiled and immediately buried her fingers in Jeff’s hair when he placed his head in her lap.

“Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?” Kamryn asked as she walked over to sit on the foot of Lane’s bed.

“Probably not,” Riker replied as she moved her hand down to pat Jeff’s bare chest. Jeff hummed happily and smiled up at Riker, who smiled back.

“Don’t even start,” Lane shot out. “It’s your own fault if you didn’t get off, Jeffry.”

“I am _always_ more focused on getting Riker off,” Jeff purred as he looked over to give Lane an exaggerated wink. Riker and Macen both sighed then while Lane smiled and shook her head.

“What is going on…?” Kamryn breathed in confusion.

“Jeff was totally just going to town on Riker before we walked in,” Lane informed flippantly. Kamryn’s eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped then as she slowly turned to look at Riker and Jeff. Jeff completely ignored Kamryn’s gaze while Riker shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“You should be happy we didn’t walk in to find Riker half dressed…though that’s probably because she was wearing a dress today,” Macen said. Jeff smiled and nodded in agreement without moving from his spot in Riker’s lap.

“Have you witnessed the soaked shirt yet?” Lane asked Macen as she turned her head to look at him. Macen rolled his eyes and nodded as he leaned back in Riker’s chair.

“Multiple times,” Macen added.

“Hey, those are the best,” Jeff defended as he cracked an eye open to look between Macen and Lane.

“Yeah, but you could do less laundry if you just removed your shirt,” Lane snorted as she unlocked her phone to text someone back.

“These things aren’t typically _planned_ ,” Riker laughed. Jeff nodded in agreement.

“Just know you can almost always guarantee it after her dance class and if she plays soccer,” Jeff added.

“Truly atrocious,” Macen deadpanned as he scrolled through something on his phone.

“Get at me, bro,” Jeff replied easily as he leaned into Riker’s touch.

“I am still very confused,” Kamryn breathed in confusion. Lane giggled and shifted to look at Kamryn better.

“Jeff really likes to eat Riker out and she has a tendency to squirt when he does,” Lane chirped. “It says a lot that Mac and I already know that.”

“That it does,” Macen agreed. “You don’t even want to know some of the things Joey has informed me of.”

“Valid,” Riker and Jeff chirped.

“I’m disturbed just knowing anything about your sex life!” Kamryn squeaked. “I mean, part of me is _thriving_ on the information because we fans always contemplate, but _dear god_.”

“Get used to it,” Lane yawned. “When Joey and Selena are in the mix it is basically them making fun of each other’s sex lives.”

“I can attest to that. My first impression was walking into my dorm to hear Joey screaming about prostates because Riker and Jeff had somehow gotten on the subject of anal,” Macen snorted.

“It was because I called you a bum fuck and then Joey called _me_ a bum fuck and it turned into a conversation about anal,” Riker replied.

“Excuse me? You didn’t know me and called me a bum fuck?” Macen squawked.

“I’d just told them that I had tried contacting you and you hadn’t contacted back,” Jeff told Macen, who made a face and then nodded once.

“Seems legitimate,” Macen added. Jeff and Lane both nodded then.

“Hold up, are you implying anal is something you’ve done?” Kamryn exclaimed. Riker and Jeff exchanged a look and then nodded.

“Have you never been around them when they’re with Elliot and Oliver?” Lane asked as she looked over at Kamryn, who shook her head. “That explains it. Jeff and Oliver5 constantly have conversations about prostate stimulation.”

“It’s a wonderful thing,” Jeff hummed as he shifted around to wrap his arms around Riker’s waist. Riker smiled down at Jeff fondly and pushed Jeff’s bangs out of his face.

“I don’t think I will ever understand the two of you,” Kamryn breathed.

“It’s easier to not question it,” Macen told her as he propped his feet up on Riker’s desk and stretched his arms above his head. Lane made a noise in agreement and reached out to pat Kamryn’s arm.

“Just accept that those two are extremely weird in every way,” Lane added as she settled back down. Kamryn huffed out a breath and then crossed her arms over her chest as she slumped back against the wall. “C’mon, we’re talking about a couple that fucked around for a few months while in denial that they were going to date.”

“Hey, it was only a month and a half!” Riker exclaimed defensively.

“Doesn’t make it any better, Rike,” Macen told her with a smirk. Riker made a face and flipped Macen off while he chuckled.

“We were a mess back then, shush,” Jeff said in a bored voice.

“You make it sound like it was more than a year ago,” Macen snorted. Jeff quirked an eyebrow over at Macen while Riker snorted.

“It was. It was two years ago,” Riker said. Macen gaped over at them then and then flailed his hands around.

“ _Excuse me_?” Macen exclaimed.

“We took a year off, man. We’re nineteen,” Jeff laughed.

“Dude, how did you not know that?” Lane asked. Macen gave an exaggerated shrug while Kamryn giggled and darted over to hug Macen around the neck roughly.

“Poor Macen is behind in the times with his roommates,” Kamryn crooned. Macen made a stubborn noise and swat at Kamryn while the others laughed.

“Get off me, you menace,” Macen grumbled. Kamryn giggled even more then and launched herself into Macen’s lap. Macen squawked stubbornly and tried to shove at Kamryn while she laughed and clung to him.

“Can’t get rid of me, Macen!” Kamryn bugled.

“Fuck that! Free me, vile woman!” Macen screamed before he shoved Kamryn out of his lap and launched himself out of the door. Kamryn cackled and ran after Macen while Riker, Jeff, and Lane watched with vague interest.

“How long until they fuck?” Lane asked as she turned her attention back to her phone.

“Not soon enough,” Riker snorted as she got up to close the door. Jeff and Lane both hummed in agreement. Riker just smiled and climbed back onto her bed with Jeff to take a nap before her next class later in the evening.

000000

“I wish this long weekend was longer,” Joey sighed as he stretched out on the dock of Riker’s family lake house. Riker and Jeff both made noises in agreement while Selena hummed and swished her feet through the water.

“I say that about every weekend,” Kamryn giggled as she slid her sunglasses back onto her nose.

“She does,” Macen agreed with a fond roll of his eyes. Kamryn rolled her own eyes and bumped her shoulder into Macen’s.

“That just speaks volumes on how much time you spend around each other,” Selena commented as she leaned back on her palms and looked over at Macen and Kamryn with one quirked eyebrow. Kamryn immediately blushed while Macen shrugged noncommittally.

“We live in the same building,” Macen added.

“You don’t have any classes together, though,” Joey countered easily.

“I also live with two of the people Kamryn is obsessed with,” Macen immediately shot out. Kamryn squawked indignantly while both Riker and Jeff snorted.

“Don’t worry. Carter was weirdly obsessed with the show despite knowing us since we were seven,” Riker informed as she pulled lightly at the hair just below Jeff’s naval.

“I’m pretty sure Carson nearly broke my eardrum with his screech last time he found out a season was being released on DVD,” Joey laughed.

“He’s his own special breed…though, so is Lily. It’s probably why they’re so good together,” Jeff breathed out. Joey, Riker, and Selena all hummed in agreement.

“Then I definitely do not look forward to meeting them,” Macen said with a definitive nod.

“Sucks for you, then. Lily is hell bent on meeting you,” Riker informed. Macen groaned and tipped his head back while the others laughed.

“Lily is hell bent on meeting everyone we know at Swat,” Joey sighed. Riker and Jeff both nodded while Selena giggled.

“I think they plan on coming out during _their_ long weekend. I mean, that’s what Lily made it seem like last I talked to her,” Selena added as she leaned back into Joey when he reached out to wrap his arms around her waist.

“Ugh. I am not prepared to deal with that,” Riker complained as she threw her head back. Jeff snorted and reached up to pat her shoulder in sympathy.

“You just don’t want her making comments about your hickies,” Joey cackled. Riker gave Joey a deadpan look before flipping Joey off.

“I will start talking details in your presence again,” Riker threatened. Joey shivered slightly and then shook his head.

“I don’t understand why you get so bent out of shape, Joseph. You’ve literally walked in on them having sex multiple times,” Selena snorted.

“Doesn’t mean I want to _remember_ it,” Joey grumbled. “No one needs to know what their best friend looks like while riding their other best friend.”

“No one needs to know that about anyone they know,” Macen snorted.

“Thank you!” Joey exclaimed with a flourish.

“And yet you still love us,” Jeff crooned before he sat up and crawled over to Joey to grab Joey’s face and smack their lips together. Joey spluttered and shoved at Jeff, who cackled and latched onto Joey tightly.

“Jeffry! Release me!” Joey exclaimed.

“Never!” Jeff replied. Joey screeched loudly and attempted to pull out of Jeff’s hold while Jeff cackled manically. Riker watched them with a fond smile while Selena shook her head. Kamryn watched with raised eyebrows and Macen snorted before he turned his attention to his phone.

“C’mon, up to the house,” Riker chirped as she pushed herself up from the dock. Jeff immediately turned to watch Riker and Joey took advantage of Jeff’s distraction to dart out from Jeff’s hold and take off towards the house. Jeff made a small, startled noise, but then shrugged and walked over to jump onto Riker’s back. Riker smiled and rolled her eyes before she pat Jeff’s leg.

“You’re ridiculous,” Selena informed primly as she brushed by them and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

“You say that like they don’t know,” Macen snorted as he followed after Selena. Kamryn giggled as she followed as well, her red hair bouncing as she skipped along.

“I never said they didn’t know. I know they know. You’re talking to someone who watched them go through the awkwardness of puberty in middle school,” Selena snorted.

“Correction: you watched _me_ go through puberty,” Riker giggled. “Jeff was a late bloomer.”

“Excuse me! I literally stressed so much in middle school that everything that had started at twelve got put on hold for a year!” Jeff squawked defensively. Riker smirked and rolled her eyes.

“You should have heard his voice when it finally broke right before high school,” Riker giggled in a mock whisper. “I thought Jackson was going to fall off of his director’s chair.”

“I don’t know why I love you,” Jeff grumbled as he buried his face in Riker’s neck. Riker hummed happily and pat Jeff’s leg again.

“What are we talking about now?” Joey asked as he dropped into one of the chairs in the living room.

“When Jeff finally got his big boy voice,” Macen chuckled as he flopped onto a couch. Joey immediately snorted with laughter and ran a hand over his face.

“Dylan nearly pissed her pants,” Joey commented. “I considered finding an egg to try and cook on Jeffry’s face because he was blushing so badly.”

“You’re literally the worst,” Jeff grumbled as Riker dropped him onto the couch.

“Blame yourself, babe,” Riker chirped as she flit over to grab her laptop.

“Nope. I will blame you and all of your stress,” Jeff hummed as he wrapped an arm around Riker’s waist once she sat down. Riker made a stubborn noise and bumped her forehead into Jeff’s shoulder.

“You can only blame so much on stress. I’m pretty sure Riker was under more stress and yet she started bleeding out the vag in seventh grade,” Selena said as she wormed into the chair with Joey and leaned into his side.

“Well, that’s one way to word it,” Macen snorted as he stretched and then ruffled Kamryn’s hair when she sat down next to him.

“We like to come up with creative ways to describe periods. Typically the conversations happen when one of us is on ours, that way it makes us hate it a little less,” Riker commented. “One of my favorites was Satan’s bloody nose.”

“Oo, that is a good one,” Kamryn hummed thoughtfully. Riker and Selena both smiled happily and nodded in agreement.

“Though, birth control definitely helps with the hellish qualities,” Riker said as she opened up her computer and propped it on her crossed legs. Jeff simply hummed and cuddled into Riker’s side with his chin over her shoulder.

“I concur,” Selena breathed as Joey shifted her in his lap to get more comfortable.

“Forever happy I do not have a uterus,” Macen said with a small nod.

“Lucky bastard,” Kamryn laughed as she pinched Macen’s cheek. Macen smiled and pinched Kamryn back in response. The rest of them rolled their eyes at the pair before they returned attention to their previous tasks.

“Anything juicy on tumblr?” Jeff asked as he shifted slightly. Riker made a small noise as she scrolled down her dashboard.

“Mmh, it appears Kam has made a post that got attention,” Riker said as she came to a stop on a post that contained three pictures. The first picture showed Riker sitting on the dock with Jeff’s head in her lap and Joey’s head propped against her leg. Riker was smiling down at the both of them, one hand in Joey’s hair while the other was rested on Jeff’s chest. The second picture showed Riker sitting next to Macen, both of them smiling behind their hands, both their middle fingers lifted in Kamryn’s direction. The last picture was of Kamryn, Riker, and Jeff. Kamryn was on the right, smiling widely with her red hair framing her face. Riker was giggling as Jeff pressed their cheeks together and made a face.

Beneath the pictures was Kamryn’s caption of _Long weekends mean trips to the Castellan lake house. Bless the fates for allowing me to befriend celebrities I used to creep on_. Riker giggled as she read the comment and then shook her head before reading the others.

_RIKER TOOK THE NEWBIES TO THE LAKE HOUSE?! WHAT? WHY WERE WE NOT INVITED_

_Lilleth, calm down. Our long weekend is not this weekend. Plus, I know Macen is not equipped to meet you yet._

_Rude, Dylan._

_WAIT. WHO IS THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS. WHO IS THE OTHER GUY. IS THE GIRL IN THE LAST PIC THE ONE WHO POSTED IT_

_As someone who knows the op, yes, she is the one who is in the last picture. I think the guy is Macen, who is Jeff’s roommate according to Kamryn. (ps, Kam, I am still waiting to meet them)_

_WELL THEN COME VISIT, SARAH_

_Hold up. How did op meet them then…?_

_Okay. I met Macen on move in day. A few weeks later I approached Riker to ask her something and it turned into a conversation. And now we’re here._

_Started from the bottom now we’re here._

_Curt, oh my fucking god. Stop stalking your little sister and future little brother on tumblr._

_DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, DYLAN. Also, that pic of Riker, Jeffry, and Joseph is adorable. I’m pretty sure it would make Mom cry if she saw it._

_It made me cry. I miss them._

_Lily the drama queen_

_And here we witness a comment that will lose Carter sex privileges for a while_

_Does that actually happen…? Riker and Jeff made it seem like it doesn’t_

_On rare occasions, yes. Also, Rike, when you see this, rockin’ that bikini, babe ;D_

“Aw, tell Dylan I think you’re rocking it too,” Jeff chuckled into Riker’s ear. Riker smiled and nipped at Jeff’s cheek fondly.

“You text her and tell her,” Riker added quietly. Jeff hummed and then grabbed his phone from the coffee table. Riker smiled and then turned to look at Kamryn. “Nice pics, by the way. I’m sure next time I go to Curt’s that picture of me, Jeff, and Joey is going to be up somewhere.”

“Oo, let me know if it is. It will make me feel important,” Kamryn giggled as she looked up from her phone. “Also, there was totally a thread where someone accused me of finding those pictures online or photoshopping them.”

“God, people are ridiculous,” Selena snorted. “Same thing happened to me first time I tweeted a picture with Riker after we reconnected. Like, get off your high horse, I’ve known them since kindergarten.”

“Yeah, but their interest in you quickly turned to the fact that Jeff hated you for a while,” Joey commented easily.

“He was just mad I got intimate with Riker’s genitals first,” Selena hummed smugly.

“You have no leverage as I can get her to squirt,” Jeff immediately retorted.

“Point,” Selena agreed with a one shouldered shrug.

“Jeff also totally saw my genitals first,” Riker said.

“Well, yeah. Didn’t you guys, like, bathe together as kids?” Macen asked.

“That is not what she is talking about,” Joey snorted.

“Definitely not,” Jeff agreed with a chuckle. “In the short amount of time Riker was able to drink, I found out she is a _no clothes_ kind of drunk. That and the first time she got _really_ horny she complained about being too hot and stripped her clothes. I didn’t even know what was going on at the time.”

“Neither did I,” Riker snorted as she stretched her legs out. “Thirteen was a weird age.”

“You’re saying that like you didn’t do it in high school,” Joey said with a quirked eyebrow. Riker waved a hand in Joey’s direction and rolled her eyes.

“High school was more _how red can I make Jeff go_ ,” Riker informed. Jeff narrowed his eyes at Riker and she smiled innocently. Joey and Selena both cackled while Kamryn stared in amusement and Macen shook his head.

“That is truly evil,” Macen sighed. “Like, start of puberty is _wow a boner, why do I have a boner_?”

“I know. Jeff and I discussed the aspects of puberty we experience together as we were going through it,” Riker chirped happily.

“Which makes it _even more evil_ ,” Jeff hissed while Joey continued to cackle.

“I’m not even surprised,” Joey finally gasped out.

“Me either,” Selena agreed. “It just makes me surprised they didn’t get together sooner.”

“I had to work through my women first,” Riker preened as she flipped her hair lightly. Jeff smiled and rolled his eyes as he bumped his forehead into Riker’s temple. “If I hadn’t worked my way through women, Joseph and Jeffry would have been _lost_ when it came to sex.”

“Valid point,” they both agreed. Riker smiled smugly while Macen shook his head and Kamryn eyed them with a quirked eyebrow.

“Kam, you’d think you knew by now not to question their dynamic,” Selena said. “They literally have no boundaries. Riker and Jeff have basically lived together since they were twelve, maybe earlier. Joey came into play when they were almost fourteen. _No. Boundaries_.”

“Listen to the smart woman, Kamryn,” Macen informed. “It’s so much easier to just accept it.”

“I _know_ that, it’s just hard to _actually accept it,_ ” Kamryn huffed out. Riker, Jeff, and Joey all shrugged then after they exchanged a look.

“Whatever. Let’s go make dinner,” Riker said before she closed her laptop and then pulled herself out of Jeff’s lap. The rest of them all made noises of interest and followed Riker to the kitchen where they spent the next forty-five minutes cooking together.

**Author's Note:**

> So, side notes are much shorter this time. With the ao3 formatting, this doc was only 22 pages compared to the 85 pages of the first installment...soyeah. NOTES:
> 
> 1) I wanted to maintain some things from the regular verse, so Joey met his roommate under the exact same conditions  
> 2) If you're curious, egg planter is from Starship. It isn't necessarily used as an insult because the character it is said to has the job of "egg planter". But it is never not funny to hear Matt Lang scream "SILENCE, EGG PLANTER" in a serious voice <3  
> 3) It isn't mentioned, like, ever or often, but Riker has always composed his/her own music. It would be something Riker discovered in 8th grade as a distraction, and he/she realized that he/she was really good at it. Miri absolutely LIVES to hear Riker's original pieces because she is THAT type of mother  
> 4) This is a direct reference/thing in common with the regular verse. Alyssa barges in on Riker and Jeff at one point, right at the tail end of things, so Jeff retaliates by pulling Alyssa into a tight hug and therefore getting ejaculate on her. This obviously maintains in this verse  
> 5) Okay, so, Oliver and Elliot are two guys who Riker and Jeff met when they participated in a summer production of AVPM. Oliver played Goyle while Elliot played Cedric. Elliot is a stocky-ish kinda guy while Oliver is basically a towering string bean, so I thought it would be entertaining to have the towering dude be the power bottom. As mentioned, he and Jeff enjoy discussing the joys of prostate play
> 
> AND WITH THAT. THIS INSTALLMENT OF GIRL!RIKER IS OVER. I'm gonna go back to working on the main verse now, and then maybe write another installment dealing with the beanie twins. KBAI.


End file.
